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The Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. -- J.B.S. Haldane, 1927

Fuck
PERHAPS one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories:
| Category: | Example Usage: |
| Transitive Verb | John fucked Mary. |
| Intransitive Verb | Mary was fucked by John. |
| Action Verb | John gives a fuck. |
| Passive Verb | A fuck is not given by Mary. |
| Adverb | Mary is fucking interested in John. |
| Noun | Mary is a terrific fuck. |
| Adjective | Mary is a fucking ugly bitch. |
| Interjection | Fuck, I'm late for my date with Mary! |
| Conjunction | Mary is so easy, fuck, she's stupid. |
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". However, aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
- Greetings: "How the fuck are you?"
- Fraud: "I got fucked badly by the car dealer."
- Resignation: "Oh, fuck it."
- Trouble: "I guess I'm fucked now."
- Aggression: "FUCK YOU!"
- Disgust: "Well fuck me."
- Confusion: "What the fuck...?"
- Difficulty: "I do not understand this fucking thing!"
- Despair: "Fucked again...."
- Pleasure: "I fucking couldn't be happier."
- Displeasure: "And what the fuck is going on here?"
- Lost: "Er, where the fuck are we?"
- Disbelief: "UNFUCKINGBELIEEEEVABLE!"
- Retaliation: "Up your fucking ass!"
- Denial: "I didn't fucking do it."
- Perplexity: "I know fuck-all about it."
- Apathy: "Who really gives a fuck anyway?"
- Suspicion: "Who the fuck are YOU?"
- Panic: "Let's get the fuck out of here."
- Directions: "Fuck off"
- Disbelief: "How the fuck did you do that?"
Many famous people throughout the centuries have used the word "fuck":
- George Custer: "Where did all these fucking indians come from?"
- King Harold: "Careful with that, you'll have some fucker's eye out."
- Admiral Horatio Lord Nelson: "Eat cannon, you French fucks!"
- Adolf Hitler: "Das ist ein fucking ENORMOUS gas bill!"
- Mayor of Hiroshima: "What the fuck was that?"
- Captain of the Titanic: "Iceberg? What fucking iceberg?"
- Michael Schumacher: "Vot is ze stupid English fucker doing NOW?"
- Damon Hill: "Fuck. Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck."
- Robinson Crusoe: "Where the fuck...?"
- Jeffrey Dahmer: "Fucking hell, this stuff tastes great!"
- John Bobbit: "Oh YEAH? I fucking dare you!"
- Arnold Schwarzanegger: "Sarah Fucking Connor?"
- Sir Isaac Newton: "Yoouch! What the fuck...?"
- Challenger crew: "Fuck the warning light, it doesn't look important."
- Donald Campbell: "The fucking throttle's fucking stuck."
- O.J.Simpson: "Well, fuck me--I'm free!"
Author Unknown.
Special thanks to Marc Trollip for contributing this piece.
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