This One's For You
Wherever You Are

Early May 1974 I remember
a polished chrome day in a smoky bar
Eagles crooning tequila sunrise
booze and your rosy glow provoke
a sudden catching of the breath
a fearful silence before speech
soaring into the long yellow sun
spellbound in a crumpled taxi
I slouch pretending boredom
leaning as far from you as I can
paranoid the cabbie might
feel the fever radiate from in my pants
see your hardon pop up his rearview
and jump to the wrong conclusion
driver, this is just intellectual diversion
I'm a field worker in human sexuality
studying male-on-male sexual response
for some kinda research institute
using myself as a guinea pig

Front door rattles shut behind us
nervous as a gazelle
Never thought I'd be a pervert
his eyes shine black hot
breathing shallow and unsteady
loud alarms in the parasympathetic
fight or flight friend or foe
Time to turn back nothing's happened yet
he's humping my leg like a horny dog
his rough face scrapes my cheek raw
his strong arms weird around my shoulders
men don't fit together
a vulgar wet tongue
slithers over my lips like a lurid snake
this is just too bizarre
lust without context
psycho faggot lunatic degenerate
I'll be sorry if I let him
(Last suspended moment
Apologize made a mistake)
You snatch my right hand pull it down
to the danger of your hot twitching sonofabitch
the burning between your legs
grows in my palm
thaws my somatic armor
whispers intimate conspiracy
slows down time
your muscled tongue snakes into my mouth
alien as a sea-cucumber
familiar as velvet

mysterious shaman
luring me with dreams
of naked torsos with ruby cocks
moaning my name as they squirt
a boy I went to school with kisses me
holds me in his hard arms
what do I hunger for
can't pretend I don't
dizzy as the first time I tickled a damp cunt
I want to see what flies out of a man's dick
being or nothingness

you were a bookworm
dark intense and lonely
dreaming of men in your secret bone
a mask of clumsy tone-deaf impotence
until one night a year ago you told me
about your drunken holiday in Crete
a Greek kid pulled your trunks down
fucked you on a moonlit beach
and ignited your black Irish delight
it stirred my body with disorderly breezes
attack and surrender and attack
this gust of the karmic wind
bangs the latch snaps the lock
smashes my burning crotch against yours
twists my pelvis into your pelvis into the wall
wraps your fist tight as a tourniquet
around my heavy cock
tosses me backwards ripe and vertiginous
a plate from the drainboard crashes
chatters in slow motion a mile below

This is My Body
esoteric hormones flood the ancient brain
induce my weeping extremity
to quiver galvanically like a frog's leg
generate a field of goofy sex hallucinations
like going under ether
(a blushing naked bridegroom
hiding from his bride
floats tumbling over neon Metropolis
orbiting his best man)

This is Your Body
Not the serenity of mother virgin
but the frenzy of a phallic god
in the warrior lodge in the woods
bright eyes glistening by the fire
panting celebrants with heavy pendula
snatch baubles hurled by young men
perform ritual offerings to Saint Dick
the god who rises again and again

brings me to ground on a musty sofa
pounces on me hard and hot
in one sleek sure motion
belly ribs armpits
sizzle like bugs on a light bulb
hairy knuckles tickle my belly
pull my shirt out
I tug your t-shirt up to your steamy armpits
your naked chest to mine
rouses unexpected sweetness
I'm a succulent green organism
the pounding heart of bleeding jesus
the consolation of mortal man
come here often sailor blow me down
makes my nipples hard as BB's
our swollen bumps bump and grind
a flurry of little shudders passes through me
a full-bore homoerotic swoon
you're past first base and rounding second
heading home
deja vu
already know the masculine rhyme
I heard you with that guy
you picked up at the fairy bar
couldn't believe my ears
like phonesex listening
through the walls in our building
two of you drunk in the stairwell
whispers rustles dirty chuckles silence then
midnight moans echoed up the heat pipe
your big baritone and his soft falsetto
singing a bawdy duet
seduced by that sweet torment
my secret self sailed to your room
kneeled by your bouncing bed
watched you disappear into a man
up to the scalding hilt
and listening I launched a sizzling spoonful in guilty kleenex
now my vision has bones and flesh
masses that collide
dark spots that slowly spread
on my jeans regular yours faded blue
didn't think I'd ever dare to be
so fragile swept away
taboo all my life
your bayonet
jabs me deep
Bless me father I accuse myself of
being weird
coveting another boy's toy
opening his forbidden book
rubbing his strings with my bow
finding a hard silky need
for him in me in him for me

you pop my belt
pour the genie out of its bottle
cold air on my hot rocket
it's really big
you say that to all the boys
you've felt a few men's dorks
but you fondle mine like a scepter
a former classmate dandles my homely balls
as if they were the breasts of a beautiful woman
I shiver all aflutter like a Victorian virgin
mesmerized by the unspeakable
my shirtbutton skitters on the bare floor
strong hands tug sharp cold zipper buzzes open
I tremble in a cold downpour of abandon
crane shot spinning 360 degrees around us
my god I almost came now in your soft palms
closeup I fumble intent at your fastening
tear off the christmas wrapping then
the craziest thing I've ever done
pop Exhibit A out of its white shroud

zoom a gigantic cantilever suspended from guywires
a veined mushroom stem with a shiny cap
a soaring mast crowned with thorns
a hungry alien from another planet
raging with blood wired to explode
the moist purple mollusk of an adult male
not mine officer
not my juice on the rubbery head
leaving shiny slug tracks on my stomach
sniffing at me like a friendly beast
like an old drooling bottle of glue
makes my jaws ache like a dill pickle
not my cock another guy's

sex between men is more problematic
than men fucking women
contra naturem
simple masturbation sends you to hell
queers go to the darkest catholic dungeon
for sodomites and other satanistic humanists

(shame on you for dreaming of a stranger's dong
never touch a dingus that isn't yours my son
don't even touch your own except to wash it
never ever lie on your back knees over your head
letting the tip of your outstretched tongue
almost lick the deepfelt urge
now in my shaking hands)

what do men want after all
are modern men severe neurotics
latent fags in flight from woman?
(make daddy stay home with your lonesome boy
love me like he loves his naked mistress
it is daddy's arms you squeeze me in
your impending flood quenches daddy thirst)
don't know who you are
don't know what I need
don't know why squeezing your furry nuts
jolts my skull with nasty lightning
fuck why
Your pecker is shorter and thicker than mine
Your bloody sword is lush and vivid as a dream
Your shaft warps sharply up and to the right
Your manhood weeps a thick salt tear
Your dick keeps a dirty apartment
Your thingy was shamed by your mother
Your yardarm was mad at your father
Your wang's a balloon about to pop
Your tool pries my legs apart
Your bullsnake crawls into my tall grass
Your pole pounds where my cunt would be
Your schlong looks up at me begging
Your gun is cocked and ready to fire
Your soldier aims a gasping barrel at the sky

(Peckinpah loved scenes where
bad boys expire in slow-motion
maybe the real ecstacy of his Wild Bunch
was a queer come shot)

at the coming of the little death
red sun glows on your shoulderblade
showers pentacostal tongues of flame
astonishment in your glassy eyes
your ego implodes at lightspeed
homo erectus shudders on top of me
convulsing involuntary nameless mammalian
eyes rolled back in rapture
seismic rumbles in his bones
hidden seed-pod trembles and breaks
two big dollops pour out
strands of molten syrup land in my pubic hair
then hard jets of white and yellow goo
splash my startled belly
ohmigod what have I gotten myself into
you soften damply
the burden of a man the mess he makes
precarious on our narrow ledge
your sweaty body weighs on my chest
what if somebody walked in on us now

Quick disgust
this shame
I'm afraid
of what I'm not sure
of the animal
of the swamp of pearly gunk in my navel
of this abnormal male who deposits
his biological soup
on the torso of another abnormal male
who is me
it's an effort not to jump up
wipe the memory off my naked skin
but his teeming flow delighted me too
and that causes a familiar panic
the same as a woman feels
weakling lost control surrendered ego to another
I satisfied a naked man
I provoked his flesh on purpose
his passion now festoons me
I made the bed we lie on

i must be crazy i must
fill in the blanks

pants around your knees
little pink dick drooping still slimy
from your thick black bush
shirttail flapping like wings
livid handprints on your hard white moons
you light up take a glowing drag
hand it over wet
like Bogart to Bergman
what's romance got to do with
sissy-boy pansy thinks he's a woman
a kiss just a kiss
I'm not your girl
you read my mind don't let me cool down
sly depravity in your knowing eyes
got something I like growing again already
drag me by my pulltoy string
I follow the leader helpless in tangled clothes
to the tingling dark where a year ago
a faceless sigh begged me to kiss
a long smooth mandrake root
now I rub your juicy cockhead
in the garish light from the restaurant sign
fall back on the unmade bed open my zipper wide
offer you my ripe stalk
while you tear off the last of your clothes
come to me in your birthday suit
all frank hands and jerky breath
our hearts beating a dirty boogie
my shirt flung up over my head to the floor
socks off one by one
lie back I can't believe this is happening
the second most natural thing in the world
Scoot up you whisper raise my hips
tender ministrations pull my pants down
first one pale leg then the other
belt buckle thumps on the wooden floor
underwear flies across the room
flutters to a three-point landing on a lampshade
sex jingles in all my nooks and crannies
I'm naked as a jaybird at last

I remember you looming over me
like a cover of Blueboy
greased pretty perpendicular prick
long as a baby's arm
always seemed like wussy fags playing
psycho games being mommy for daddy
but we're free men drunk on the mystery
of one man's need for another man's mystery
you're a Leonardo angel with a marble hardon
I'm ravished by virile beauty
frightened but relieved
like a virgin skydiver
whose chute just opened

down down down you glide
mounting my delirium
I am sex plasma glowing
under your particle beam
licking up your gluey traces
your fingers inspect my genitalia
like an exotic tropical fruit
something I didn't know I had is throbbing
crazy-glued to something in you

wet your lips, fix me with a leer
make your mouth a little o
slip a noose over the blind monk's neck
slather nip flutter and suck
oh fuck I love
losing this unknown virginity
leaving the usual plane of existence
if you look in a mirror I'm not here
hanging on to your crewcut like a pommel
punching my meat thermometer down your throat
vanishing in your mouth like a bearded vulva

Highschool boy confidential scorn
know what the frogs call a cocksucker? Artiste
sallow men with pencil mustaches
luring ignorant schoolboys to their ruin
watching young lumps move
in the ardent faces of crazy perverts
right this second on this wild night
I'm not afraid of the sex police
I'm getting head you're giving me head
I'm an ice cream cone
melting in your blistering sun

is this love we're making, kids?
Discuss.

greasy gears in massive motion
dark machinery rumbles in the basement
Oh no
I'm gonna
your mouth bobs fervent yesses
cock like a spring-loaded mortar
firing Fourth of July rockets
Ohmigodyes
sphincter mouth hands bone flesh
no limit no horizon no boundary
my brakes are smoking
long desperate strokes
big buick spinning out of control
head bangs wood
Please please release me
don't let go
as hard as I
can't hold back
the point of no return goes and comes

I'm usually a grunter
But I can't make a peep until
take ye and eat of this
I launch blue and yellow flashes down your throat
must be me howling at the moon
your mouth is busy
my last electric shudder jumps into your grin
you drop the empty nozzle from your lips
glide up my body
hang on for dear life
twitch between my ticklish thighs
discharge molten lava between my asscheeks
drift slowly to a stop after a roller-coaster

I've fallen into the snares of apostasy
a rosy novitiate in the Order of Andros
the pope condemns heathen sex for pleasure
burns licentious peasants
heretical nominalists that call
semen named me in a mouth named him
emancipating human love
well fuck the pope
you don't have to suck cock
to know what a man is to love
but it helps

my divided soul whispers
this must never happen again
I'm no fairy don't want people coming up to me
saying you're a fairy don't want my family
but that could have been
one of the best blow jobs in history
the most ferocious come
in my goddamn life

sex

is freedom
is to have children

same sex

is an astonishment
an abomination
is foolproof birth control
shameless
is a voyage to an unknown country
sentimental lust
is tenderness by another name
casting your seed on the ground
is love
treason

no cocksucking on pain of banishment
from the company of real men
your naked legs tangled in my sheets
are the taboo incarnate
don't get crushes on men crush them
can't let anyone know or I'm taboo
jesus
primitive societies scare the hell out of me

Happy as a clam
I fall into that little sex trance
until the funk of my jism on your breath
Wakes me up
Want some more
godhelpme yes I do

I met the shaman face-to-face that night
let his profane oil
anoint my tongue as we dangled
head to tail to head to tail to head
let Dionysos Agonistes on his back below me
yoked like a beast in his furrow
demigod's thunderbolt in my fist
a naked torso with ruby cock
moans your name as I squirt
into a narrow chamber of royal silk

Since then
mostly I sway to the sine waves of woman
the undulating spell of her pulse
mona lisa slick with sweat
bestows a miraculous dowry
Guitar breasts and hips
the jeweled doorway
I anchor my boat
in a bright blue ocean in a cave

But to be totally honest
some hot dry nights the wind turns around
coyote howls at the big blue moon
I jones for the dreambone
testicles flopping around my bed
mine yours yours mine
jagged hairy delirious riffs of baritone sex
reflected in a funhouse mirror
sheathing brother dagger in ourselves


envoi

my first and only fairy lover
I thought my queer days were over
twenty years ago in that crummy apartment
but these meditations on our secret bed
still make me jack off like a crazed monkey

memories flash like fireflies in summer delirium
your sword sheds sparks on my anvil
slices my Gordian knot
fills me with freedom

next time you get it up
remember our duets on the skin flute
and wail on the old saxophone
until the riddle reveals itself to the fearless heart
what flies out of a man's dick is his soul

Author Anonymous.