The Far Middle

I did not attend the Mock Convention Gala (and don't ask me to pronounce it), but it did, at least for me, provide a telling glimpse into the unpromising future of our country and the evils of so-called "political correctness" and "tolerance." While these are fine concepts in general, I think they are really getting out of hand when people try to force them into the mainstream of society, past the point of all reasonableness, until everyone is expected to conform to the same norms that everyone else does, leaving little or no room for disagreement.

"What does this have to do with the Mock Convention Gala?" you ask, as well you might. "I thought it was just another date function."

Sure, that's what they would like you to believe. It's all just another excuse for a party, another excuse to dance and drink and have fun. That's true up to a point, until you see the sinister ideology such an event promotes, however subtly.

Everywhere you looked on campus, it was the same. At first, it was hardly noticeable. Out of nowhere, they appeared: Women with men! Men with women! Laughing couples holding hands and pretending to be happy while flaunting their so-called "lifestyles" in a flimsy exercise to try to make them look more acceptable to the mainstream. Surrounding me was a tide of political correctness, screaming, "Abandon your morals! Throw away your future! Forget the rules of tradition and common decency! Heterosexuality is just as good as any other arrangement."

Now, I realize that in today's political climate, it is unfashionable to "bash" heterosexuality. Suddenly, politicians from Newt Gingrich to Bill Clinton to Pat Robertson want us all to believe that being heterosexual is somehow "okay," or even desirable. "Family values" are paramount in the political discussion.

And heterosexuals have not let this go unnoticed. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, they are flexing their newfound political muscle in an effort to carve out a territory for "special" heterosexual rights. They want tax deductions for married couples that somehow constitute more of a "family" than any other loving living arrangement. They want marriage to be an exclusively heterosexual province, depriving the children of people of other sexual orientations of a more stable, identifiably cohesive environment in which to grow up. In some states, heterosexual extremists have even attempted to organize to pass ballot initiatives that would deny access to the political process to anyone but heterosexuals. How far is this politically correct hegemony going to extend before the American people see it for what it is?

This all dates back to the sixties. Then, "hippies" demanding "peace" and "love" threw out the old boundaries and moralities in favor of "free love." They brought their sexuality out of the closet, and demanded that everyone watch them fornicating in the woods on television, at the movies--throughout the popular culture. What once had been tolerance of other people's sexual choices and living arrangements became just a general sickness at watching naked men and women going at it all the time. And yet, they continued. Now you can't turn on a daytime talk show without seeing some hick with three teeth and long hair at the back of his flattop, just emerged from his trailer for the first time in months and still blinking, talking about exactly how he and his wife like to have sex. Do we really need to know?

I, for one, am ready to step forward and say, "Enough is enough!" I don't care what anyone's sexual orientation is--have sex with anyone and everyone you want, or an old boot. But the public promotion evinced toward this kind of sick, open heterosexuality is just wrong.

Imagine the effect this could have on our children alone. Suddenly, instead of discovering their sexuality in pure, healthy ways, they would have a heterosexual hegemony mandating that they get married, have kids, conform to the American ideal, even before they fully realize their own potential as individuals or develop healthy attitudes toward sexuality.

The country would be overrun with loping, macho men and mincing, effete women all trying the latest "hip" trend of heterosexuality.

While I don't think that any one religion should control the government, it is abundantly clear by now that America is fundamentally a Christian nation, and this kind of rampant sexual immorality is clearly against the Bible. In the Old Testament alone, there are over 300 proscriptions on heterosexual activity. Can the message be clearer?

This is not to mention the unhealthy aspects of the heterosexual lifestyle. Over 90 percent of the world's AIDS cases are caused by heterosexual sex. A deadly epidemic is passing through our society like wildfire while "populists" and pseudo-intellectuals tell us that heterosexuality is "natural." If it is so natural, why will it kill you? May as well light up and shoot up and throw away your life as become a practicing heterosexual these days.

Heterosexuals are also more likely to be child molesters. 90 percent of child molestation, committed against both young girls and young boys, is committed by pedophiles who often masquerade as "normal" heterosexual men with good jobs, wives and families. Obviously, something is terribly wrong with a lifestyle that can generate these kind of shocking statistics.

I'm not saying that all heterosexuals should be locked away or whatever wild final solutions to the problem some have proposed. I have lots of good friends who are heterosexual, and even though I am their friend, I let them know in no uncertain terms that what they are doing, in my opinion, is a sin. I'm just saying that society cannot afford to sanction something so insidious as this in the name of "P.C." or "toleration," and while we should not violate the rights of heterosexuals, we also should not pretend that what they are doing is right or even morally neutral.

So next time you see a young boy-girl couple walking down the street, making moon eyes and flaunting their perversity for all the world to see, just ask yourself what you are being asked to accept in that arrangement.

Me? I don't go for fancy cars, diamond rings or movie stars. I go for penguins. Oh, Lord, I go for penguins.

Copyright © 1996, Alex Christensen. All rights reserved.